office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
