have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
