I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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