I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
