She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize