I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
