He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
