so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The power of my boobs compel you
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
