why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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