my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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