the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
