you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
