You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
