belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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