whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
