I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
