Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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