i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
