This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
