So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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