Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
