Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Found the puke drawer
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
