While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Quick, to the slutcave!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Drake has all the answers
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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