shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize