it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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