quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
