We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I skipped work to stalk him.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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