Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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