these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
