Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
only if we run a train.
done.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
