If i come over, it means nothing
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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