so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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