Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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