I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
