it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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