i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
