Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
