Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
