How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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