What a fucking waste of an outfit
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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