you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
