he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
