K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He better not be in your backpack
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
