My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
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