Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Be still, my beating vagina.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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