We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
