im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
