Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
