why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
