last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
