Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
