so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
