Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm at about main and main street
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
