just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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