Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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