Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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