i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
