I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize