At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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