Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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