you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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