Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He passed out mid-signature
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
