Can i not drive my cunt home
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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