sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
