I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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