I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
